The Reasons for the Journey

Six months from today on May 19th, 2012 I will be competing in Ironman Texas in The Woodlands, Texas.  My reasons for entering this race are twofold.  I want to honour the two "Ironmen" in my life - my son Tavis and my brother Kevin.

Tavis: 

Twelve years ago, my husband and I were blessed with the arrival of twin boys.  Due to complications during my pregnancy, the boys arrived 7 weeks premature and were delivered by emergency c-section weighing in at 3 lbs 3oz and 4 lbs 2 ozs - Tavis and Ethan.  Tavis was born with no vital signs but after a few minutes they were able to revive him.  For two days we were unsure whether Tavis, the smaller twin, would survive but he pulled through and after extensive testing we were told he had no residual problems from his difficult birth.  Eight months later, Tavis started having seizures and we were shattered to learn that Tavis had cerebral palsy (specifically spastic quadraplegia meaning all four of his limbs were affected), cortical visual impairment, and a spinal cyst. 

Today Tavis is twelve years old, non verbal, non mobile and confined to a wheelchair.  He has a wicked sense of humour and an infectious laugh.  To meet him is to love him.

Kevin:

Through every phase of my life, my brother Kevin was there for me.  Though we both married, had our own spouse and children, Kevin and I maintained a close relationship.  He was the epitome of what an older brother should be.  He loved me unconditionally but when I was in the wrong, he pulled no punches.

About 6 years ago, Kev started to not feel well.  The diagnosis was colon cancer.  Kev told me he was going to beat the cancer and he would be fine.  

5 years later after 3 years of chemotherapy, 5 weeks of radiation and 8 major surgeries my brother Kevin lost his battle with cancer and passed away at home on September 25^th, 2010 at 50 years of age surrounded by his wife of 29 years, Debra and his two children Meagan and Chad.

For 5 years I watched my brother battle against a demon he could not defeat.  The cancer would disappear in one spot, only to reappear in another.  Through it all Kevin maintained his dignity and grace.  He continued to farm - to plants his crops every spring and harvest them in the fall.  Every morning and evening he went out to feed his cattle.  He even drove other cancer patients to chemotherapy when they were too sick to do so.  When you asked him how he was, he was always “fine”.  He expected sympathy from no one and continued on his life as if the cancer was merely an inconvenience.  Ironman training is nothing compare to what Kevin endured in his fight to live.

I see Kevin everyday in my son Tavis.  Tav resembles his uncle with his big blue eyes and his funny patch of white hair at the back of his head that Kevin had when he was younger.  But mostly I see Kevin in the way that Tavis tackles life.  Everyday Tav, with an unrivalled perseverance, tries to do things we take for granted.  His fine motor skills are minimal, he is unable to feed himself, or dress himself and he is confined to a wheelchair but he takes it all in stride and he faces everyday with a smile.  He has accepted what life has given him and he is okay with it.

My ironman in Texas will be a fundraiser to support Grandview Children's Centre in Oshawa, Ontario.  Tavis first attended Grandview Children’s Centre for therapy when he was a year old.  The screaming and the crying – both me and Tav – must have scared the daylights out of the staff but the amazing therapists would continue on even though their ears must have been hurting from Tavis’ screaming and never lost patience with him.  Throughout the last 11 years Tavis has seen the therapists at Grandview for physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. 

I am not sure what we would have done without Grandview.  Grandview has made arrangements for us to purchase equipment such as a wheelchair, car seat and braces; monitored and scheduled appointments for AFO fittings; supplied equipment; arranged to have someone look at our home for possible renovations; arranged appointments with doctors, hospitals; provided reports for our insurance company; and so much more.

When I decided to register for Ironman Texas 2012, I knew that I wanted to do a fundraiser in honour of my brother Kevin.   My husband Glen and I decided to do the fundraiser for Grandview Children’s Centre for a number of reasons.  Grandview has been constant in Tav’s life since he was a year old and we wanted to be able to somehow repay Grandview for all of their assistance over the years.  I was shocked to  recently learn that there are over 1,000 children on a waiting list for the services that Grandview offers and I am so delighted to be able to help Grandview in any way that I can.

My son Tavis is an Ironman to me.  I train for over a year for an ironman race and the day of the race arrives, I compete and it is over.  Tav’s ironman training is for life.  He never gets a day off from training, he never gets to hear the cheering of the crowd as he crosses the finish line, and he never gets to have a medal placed around his neck that tells the world that he has competed in one of the most gruelling endurance events ever.  He doesn’t, but he should.