Kevin

Ironman Texas is but 9 short days away.  I have gone through most of the stages that you normally do before ironman - paranoia, emotional, panic, and have settled into fear right now.  


Making the arrangements for Texas have been difficult.  It is extremely hard to find someone to care for my son Tavis. Because he is not verbal or mobile, he requires a special someone to care for him.  My babysitter backed out about a month before ironman and my backup babysitter backed out about 2 weeks ago so full blown panic set in.  It looked like Glen was going to have to stay home to care for Tavis and I was going to have to go to Texas alone - with my friends Shawn, Michelle and Carolyn, and Coach Paul of course.  As you are all aware, Glen is my rock - he keeps me sane which is a full time job.  In addition to all that he does for me throughout my training, he takes extremely good care of me the days prior to and after Ironman.  He takes care of all of the little details so I can focus on the race.  The thought of going to Texas without him had me nearly hysterical.


Luckily, with a call to Grandview, they found someone who could stay with Tavis while we are away.  Ethan is heading to his grandfathers and Tavis is going to be able to stay in our home where he is most comfortable and to continue his usual schedule.  


So all is in place.  Flights booked, hotels booked, training done.


So I thought I would talk a bit about my other ironman besides Tavis, my brother Kevin.


First, some family history.


I was originally 1 of 3 children.  I was the youngest, then sister Kim, and Kevin was the oldest.  When I was 4, Kim 5, and Kevin 6, our father was killed in a car accident driving to work.  My mom was 23.


After Dad's death my mom held down two jobs - she worked in a canning factory during the day and a nursing home at night.   


We were raised on a farm outside of Sarnia.  As kids, I was the pesky little sister that followed Kevin all over the place and he was okay with that.  I had to do everything he did.  When Kev lost his first tooth, I remember my Dad pretending to pull one of mine out as well because I wanted to be just like Kevin.


Four years after my Dad's death, my Mom remarried my stepdad.  My stepdad has never been that, he is my father.  I have memories of my biological father but my Dad has been there since I was 8 years old.  Dad came to the marriage with 3 kids of his own and he and my Mom had another one between them - our own version of the Brady Bunch.


We had a Norman Rockwell kind of upbringing and I would not have changed anything.


Kevin and I remained close throughout the years even after we both got married.  He and I were very similar in temperament, including having nasty tempers.  He helped me financially through university and I, in turn, repaid him by helping out his kids.  

He was the epitome of what an older brother should be.  He loved me unconditionally but when I was in the wrong, he pulled no punches.

About 7 years ago at Xmas, Kev was really thin and my Mom said he had not been feeling well and was having some testing done.  Now my brother never went to a doctor.  He had a pain in his side a few years before that and thought it would just go away.  It wasn't until his appendix actually burst that he thought it might be a good idea to go to the hospital. 

Kevin was put on the emergency list for a colonoscopy but still had to wait 3 months.  I remember his call one night at my home in Whitby.  He wanted to call me first because I was his youngest sibling.  Colon cancer.  I remember screaming “no” repeatedly at him on the phone.  My family tends to shield alot from me because they think I have enough on my plate taking care of Tavis.  Kev just let me cry it out and then told me not to worry that he was going to beat the cancer and he would be fine.  I held him at his word.  I did not speak to my brother for about 4 months after that call because I could not deal with him having cancer – the thought of living my life without my brother was overwhelming. 

For years I watched my brother battle against a demon he could not defeat.  The cancer would disappear in one spot, only to reappear in another.  Through it all Kevin maintained his dignity and grace.  He continued to farm - to plants his crops every spring and harvest them in the fall.  Every morning and evening he went out to feed his cattle.  He even drove other cancer patients to chemotherapy when they were too sick to do so.  When you asked him how he was, he was always “fine”.  He expected sympathy from no one and continued on his life as if the cancer was merely an inconvenience.

5 years later after 3 years of chemotherapy, 5 weeks of radiation and 8 major surgeries my brother Kevin lost his battle with cancer and passed away at home on September 25^th, 2010.  My mom says to this day, she is not sure who was more surprised that Kevin did not beat the cancer - me or him.  It really had never occurred to me that Kev would not make it.

The year following Kev's death is a bit of a blur to me.  There are months and events that I don't remember.  I said to my friend Michelle Barrett the other night when we were running that for 6 months after Kev died I could not take a deep breathe because it hurt too much.  I have had to learn to live without Kevin and it has been a long and ongoing process.  Every birthday, every holiday, every Xmas it is like ripping a bandage off a wound.

I see Kevin everyday in my son Tavis.  Tav resembles his uncle with his big blue eyes and his funny patch of white hair at the back of his head that Kevin had when he was younger.  But mostly I see Kevin in the way that Tavis tackles life.  He has Kevin's toughness and perseverance.


Ironman Texas will be very special to me no matter what happens.  Kev went to Texas a few years before he got really sick and loved it.  I know Kev will be with me in Texas every step of the way - he really will - I have a tattoo of him on my back. :)


Lisa